Relationship Therapy: Dealing with Relationships
Relationship Therapy
All human beings are involved in relationships, often several simultaneously. Whether such involves child-parent, husband-wife, employer-employee, teacher-student, lover-lover, friend-friend or individual-group, relationships can and do develop problems, mis-understandings, differences, changes of feelings or other disturbing elements. Relationship problems can affect home life, work, education, health, attitude, and motivation, even the desire to live. Symptoms may include anger, sadness, hurt, and loss of self-esteem, depression and even violence.
Medical Hypnoanalysis can ferret out the causes of such problems, bringing the healing power of understanding. Medical Hypnoanalytic therapy can eliminate feelings of rejection, hurts, frustration and resentments. Communications can be re-established, confidence required and creative solutions developed.
Perhaps the most important problem in relationships is communication. Merely talking things out is an indispensable feature, but it is much more simply said than done. Why? The response is that numerous people do not communicate efficiently. It is not that they don't desire to-they may urgently desire to work out problems, clarify viewpoints, and talk about differences. The difficulty may be that they cannot communicate since even with sensitive ears they cannot hear!
For the most part people fall into one of two likely categories of suggestibility-active suggestibility or passive suggestibility. In point of fact, each person has characteristics of both, but one is usually dominant. These characteristics have a great deal to do with how people hear.
Some Medical Hypnoanalysts deem active suggestibility to be to some extent parallel to an extrovert type of personality, while passive suggestibility relates more to the introvert type. The point is that people tend to listen in agreement with their personality make-ups. People hear in the same way in which they speak. Those with conflicting types of suggestibility have more difficulties with communication.
One couple came into a Medical Hypnoanalysts office to talk about grave relationship problems. The husband proved to be a genuine loudmouth, shooting at his wife as well as the Medical Hypnoanalyst. When his shy and gentle wife asked him if we could discuss this matter quietly, he simply continued to shout. He didn't hear her request. And she certainly was not hearing (in the sense of comprehending) his message. The Medical Hypnoanalyst asked the husband to speak more softly. The shouting continued. Finally the Medical Hypnoanalyst shouted in an equally loud voice: "Now just shut up for a while or get out!"
There was the risk that the client would become annoyed, get up and walk out-a premeditated peril. Nevertheless the husband looked around piercingly and asked, "Was I speaking too loudly?" He had no idea how he sounded. His temperament was to converse at full volume, and while his wife (trying to shun what she felt would be a conflict) failed to respond, he assumed she was not hearing him and shouted even more vociferously.
Suggestibility can be altered
After illuminating the communications problems- the wife could not respond to loudness and the husband was unresponsive to softer language-the two were hypnotized sitting side by side. They were regressed to the early days of their marriage allowed to feel again the caring feelings and love that existed in the establishment of the relationship. They were programmed to comprehend and modify their mode of listening and communication. As a final point, under hypnosis, the husband was instructed to reach over, take his wife's hand, while both of them re-lived the experience of early love.
The Medical Hypnoanalyst anticipated that five or six sessions would be required to resolve the feelings, adjust the suggestibility and institute solid communication. The clients cancelled their following meeting, advising that they had re-discovered each other, and considered the predicament resolved.
It is essential to keep in mind that every one receives communication in much the identical form that is used to send them. Bearing in mind the magnetism of opposites, it is not to be unanticipated that actively suggestible people often marry passively suggestible partners.
As the preliminary novelty and gentleness fade with passing time, the predisposition grows to lapse to the form that is distinctive for the suggestibility type. Communication troubles turn out to be in effect unavoidable. Problems as expected can amplify further with the awareness that people, in addition to active or passive suggestibility, are affected by the reality of active and passive sexuality.
Sexuality vs. Suggestibility
Suggestibility reflects learning characteristics. Sexuality reflects performing distinctiveness (sexual or otherwise). Where partners have visible sexual incongruity, an appraisal of sexuality type is reasonable. Where the types of sexuality fluctuate considerably, response tendencies have a propensity to generate troubles.
In the endeavor to evade hurt, misunderstanding or disagreement, an individual may intentionally adjust either sexual or suggestible behavior and develop incongruent behavior (where suggestibility is in the unnatural position of being contrary to the person's sexuality), This can produce misunderstanding and communication collapse resulting in severe relationship conflicts plus inner chaos within the individual exhibiting the incongruent actions.
The Medical Hypnoanalyst can gauge both sexuality and suggestibility, and where differences are comparatively negligible, partners will have an adequate amount of flexible - communication in the course of periods of strain or turmoil. Where one partner, for instance, is 80% active and the other is 80% passive, difficulties are practically predictable.
Medical Hypnoanalysis may consist of measuring suggestibility and sexuality, seeing partners independently at first. If not the participants may differ on the evaluations, in view of the fact that they will see responses in a different way. Consequently the partners may be seen jointly, at which time suggestibility and sexuality may be explained, so that partners appreciate why they see or hear things in a different way, discussing the literal style of communication of the actively suggestible and the inferential style of the passively suggestible.
Medical Hypnoanalysis can bring about an understanding of relationship communications, attentiveness to the promise of modifications of attitudes and suggestibility and sexualities, and the significance of and need for creating feelings of confidence and security in and concerning the relationship itself.